Pot Kettle Black
by boxerboo
Summary: A coffee-house interlude...


(INT. COFFEE HOUSE. DAY.)

I_t is the upper-floor of a typical coffee-house a la 'Starbucks'. Large windows, a few sofas, tables, chairs etc._

_Most of the seating is occupied and extras will be performing in the background unobtrusively throughout; drinking coffee, engaging in conversation, getting up to leave, taking seats etc._

_The camera focuses upon the occupant sitting at a table for two. The chair opposite is empty. The occupant is, alternately, looking at his watch impatiently and then towards the flight of stairs in the centre of the room._

_This is THE MASTER._

_At length, up the stairs precariously balancing a tray with cups, comes THE DOCTOR._

_He crosses over to the table and places the tray down with relief._

DOCTOR Cappuccino Grande wasn't it ? Are you sure you didn't want a cake or something?

_THE MASTER shakes his head and takes his coffee. THE DOCTOR sits down opposite him. There is an awkward silence as the two men regard each other over their drinks._

MASTER _(at length) _I would have preferred some chocolate dusting on the coffee but no matter. Well...I don't have long. Are you going to tell me why you asked me here or are we going to talk about the weather?

DOCTOR I thought it might be a good idea to have a chat. Try and sort out our problems-

MASTER Problems?

DOCTOR _(looks surprised)_ I thought they would be obvious.

MASTER Enlighten me.

DOCTOR Look. We're always running into each other. When we do we're always fighting. You've got some kind of plan on the go. To try and take over the universe -

MASTER I'm just trying to bring order to chaos. You must agree that the universe is in chaos. Look around this room, for example. All this free will. This individuality. I'm just trying to relieve the burden of choice. _(THE MASTER looks around)_. Why did you suggest this benighted place for a parley, anyway?

DOCTOR I thought it would be safer. Somewhere innocuous. Public. I didn't want a squad of Ogrons or Sea-Devils jumping out at me from behind a rock, or some of the other races you have allied yourself with.

MASTER Indeed. Or those toy soldiers from UNIT.

DOCTOR You hurt people. You don't seem to have any scruples. Morality -

MASTER One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter. Good, Evil. Just words. They exist only to define each other. As for hurting people. Adric, Katarina, Sara Kingdom -

DOCTOR _(hastily)_ Look, all I'm saying is that we can't go on forever like this. I've always won or haven't you noticed?

MASTER Have you, indeed? Perhaps you need a little more Olympian spirit.

DOCTOR Olympian spirit?

MASTER It's not the winning or losing that matters. Just the taking part.

DOCTOR Come off it. You're desperate to rule. You're a control freak. Even that title you've adopted. 'Master'. Says it all really.

MASTER _(sneeringly)_ 'The Doctor'. The Physician. The Healer. 'Here comes the Doctor. He'll fix everything. He'll make things right.' Only you can't can you? You can't fix everything. And it hurts doesn't it.

DOCTOR _(shaken)_ Perhaps we should revert to our proper names -

MASTER I've forgotten mine.

DOCTOR Anyway, names or no names. I've always seen through those ridiculous disguises you adopt. Not to mention those anagrams. You're always dressed as the pantomime villain. The Man in Black -

MASTER _(counts on his fingers as he speaks) _Velvet jacket... frilly shirts...long scarf, cricket costume...a sprig of celery! Need I go on? And you question my dress-sense?

DOCTOR OK, OK. It's just that I thought you might benefit from some company. On a personal level. I've always thought that you must be very lonely -

MASTER Oh the arrogance of it! At least I can cope with my solitude. I'm comfortable in my own company. Where as you...you cloak yourself with – what do you call them – companions, to mask your own loneliness.

DOCTOR_ (taken aback_) What do you mean?

MASTER All those bright young things you kidnap. Just so they can look up at you all dewy-eyed. _(whimpering falsetto)_ 'But how, Doctor? Why, Doctor? Explain it to me, Doctor? I've tripped over again, Doctor.' _(normal voice) _Pathetic. You're the loneliest man alive.

_There is a beeping alarm from THE MASTER'S watch. He turns it off and hurriedly downs his coffee._

MASTER (_rising)_ Time's up. Things to do. Places to go. Worlds to rule. Thank you for this amusing little pep-talk. I'm not sure which of us learned most. _(He drops a coin onto the table)_ That's for the drink. You look disappointed.

DOCTOR I was hoping that we could patch up our differences.

MASTER _(leaning forward. Very serious. Low, intense voice)_ What differences?

_THE MASTER straightens up and walks quickly to the nearby restroom door He pushes through. The camera stays outside the door. After a few seconds we hear the sound of a Tardis dematerialising. As it grows in volume we see a glaring light flashing around the restroom door. Through the gaps in the frame. The noise fades and the flashing light stops._

_We focus back on a rather sad-looking DOCTOR. He picks up the coin left by THE MASTER. In close up we see that the coin has the head of THE MASTER on one side. THE DOCTOR turns it over and we see that it has THE DOCTOR's face on the reverse._

_Two sides of the same coin._

_CUT._


End file.
